After being sick for the past 6 years, you'd think I'd be used to feeling terrible all the time. I'm pretty used to feeling like complete and total garbage and I've definitely come to understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of self-pity and the even scarier trap of denial. Being a college student with chronic illness can be extremely difficult and I've come to appreciate the things I have in my life to distract me away from that. I've been making lists of things that frustrate me and things that I appreciate lately and here's what I've come up with for the former.
What's been irking me lately:
- The fact that my house is always cold --> Seriously? I think I'd be warmer living outside in the Ohio wilderness in a tent.
- Teen Mom 2. Especially Jennelle and her cray cray mom. --> They're not half as entertaining as the last season. Maybe I'll be less prejudiced if someone is able to come up with a drinking game for this season, too.
- People telling me how I should take care of my body --> last time I checked you weren't a Rheumatologist, Endocrinologist, Nephrologist.... are you getting the idea? If my doctors tell me it's ok for me to drink alcohol or caffeine in moderation then that's what I'll do. If you knew me at all you'd know that I'm fully aware of what taking care of myself entails and I do so responsibly every single day. I'm a college student. Let me act like one. Pretty sure the promiscuous sex you're having isn't good for you either but you don't see me telling you what not to do to make sure you don't get Herpes. That one's on you.
- The dumb people who live in the other half of my house --> Alright, we live in a duplex. You know what that means, Motherfuckers? It means that our houses share walls. It also means that I'm the person on my half lucky enough to share a wall with you. That does not, however, mean that you should come home every night and be belligerent and loud and play *bad* music every night. It's not even the fun kind of bad music. It's just the kind of bad music that assures me that you will probably be alone forever.
- The Emergency Department at the OSU Medical Center --> just because I didn't go to medical school does not mean that I am stupid. I am the only person fully aware of what it feels like to live in my body and on the rare occasion that I do actually complain, I'd like to be taken seriously. I'm sick of being treated like I'm stupid and then having to suffer the consequences for some hotshot ER doctor's insistence that the pain that's making my cry is just gas or a stomach bug when really it's liver failure or a kidney infection and I end up being hospitalized for days at a time because someone took the easy way out and decided not to listen to the 20 year old because, of course, she has no idea what she's talking about.
- People who take their health for granted --> I love my friends. Really. However, sometimes they just have no idea how lucky they are. It's one thing to have chronic illnesses and go through countless options for treatment and maybe never get the answers or results you want. It's something else entirely to just not do a damn thing. If you have a cold or you're feeling a little down and you choose not to get help about it because you don't feel like it and then you come to me about it, I'm sorry if I'm not going to be super supportive of your decision to sit idly by and be a dumb ass. If you have the option to do something to make yourself healthy and there's an end in sight and you throw it away, how DARE you complain. You have a choice. Never forget that. Some of us don't.
- M*ch*g@n --> there is no explanation needed for this.
- Ohio Republicans, especially our spineless leader, John Kasich --> is there an explanation needed for this, either?
- Ohio weather --> Come on, Ohio. Get your shit together and make a decision. One day it's nice and sunny and warm and the next day it's snowing and I can't feel my toes walking home from class. Make up your mind!
That's enough of my rant for right now. Starting now, I'll end each of these with a quote.
"God damn it, you've got to be kind." - from God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut
